I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The air taste purple.
Randomize