Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
