i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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