it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
