Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
