You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
