Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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