Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
