Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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