I want to make a zoo with you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
