Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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