She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
