walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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