Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
