Non-Jews are for practice
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
