Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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