Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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