Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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