I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
