I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
