I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
