No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he shaved USA in his pubs
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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