i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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