38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize