it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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