Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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