need another drink. this is the easiest way
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
