i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
