cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
