ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
