Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
