I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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