wake up i wanna do it froggy style
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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