It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
