This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I could make wine with my vomit
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize