What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
