i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
