Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
