I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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