We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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