So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
