Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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