I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
