Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
