I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
