We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
