do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
