You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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