TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
