My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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