Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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