it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize