he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
