I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
