Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
