FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
