But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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