Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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