I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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