i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
