You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
