I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize