I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
