She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
