I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Enjoy the penises
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
