that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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