i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
