If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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