I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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