you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
