you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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