I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
