Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
