at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
