so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
