Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
