Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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