biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
