i can't believe i had my finger in that
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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