This is not my ceiling
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
